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Dainty Sampler of the World's Delights

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(31 Silent Undulations | Stand Where I Stand)

Pausing to touch the stillness [29 Nov 2005|11:19am]
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I thought this was a poignant picture they captured. A moment before this was taken, I was feeling fear of making a decision out of regret of the past, I was fearing an unknown future as strongly as I was excitedly hoping for a beautiful one. As I stepped out of the car, saw a glimpse of Jason and all the people we love through a corner of the window...my mind dwelled in the immense peace of loving... and being loved.

The sense of being alone in the world is part of my history now. Regret has vanished like wishes forgotten, like words last spoken. I know the inside of my story, yet the incessant ache that once saturated its pages speaks to no one and its nuances are no longer reflections of the real person who exists, but changes. Because by starting from another person's life and going on from there, I've come to feel the differences more deeply. I'd always wonder if there would come a time or place in the formless future, where two souls could loosen from their spells and their two trajectories intersect.

He came to me in the nick of time, and the hourglass inverted.

The End

...and counting [29 Sep 2005|01:33pm]
Things have been crazy-wedding in 9 days (and all that stuff in between). I will be away, but I also thought that this was an easy and interesting way to spread awareness. All my best.

Save The World - One Click At A Time!

On each of these websites, you can click a button to support the cause -- each click creates funding, and costs you nothing! Bookmark these sites, and click once a day!

Click here to post this on your page or 'blog

(20 Silent Undulations | Stand Where I Stand)

Ashes and Snow [13 Sep 2005|12:56pm]
I finally got around to getting this work of art. Colbert's project/collection is monumental and intensely moving. I find it extremely inspirational, especially around this time of year. Here's to you, who is always with me.

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The brokenness of yesterday is patched. My pain is perennial, but so is my happiness...

Through Children's Eyes [23 Aug 2005|08:29am]
[ mood | Happy, but.... ]

"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?"
- Mahatma Gandhi

There are some people that war seems to simply forget. The ones who learn never to cry....

And only butterflies can cross barbed wired fences...

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Two more picturesCollapse )

A Witness [26 May 2005|04:20pm]
[ mood | Effortlessly Touched ]

Once you have seen and once you have heard... you can no longer act as though you have not seen or you have not heard...

(33 Silent Undulations | Stand Where I Stand)

Vacuum Thinkers [22 Jan 2005|12:40pm]
It is in my opinion, that the idea of suffering is all about perception.

Before we are quick to judge who we may feel is suffering and who is not, let us remember that we are still looking at it through our own little key hole. The people that think they can measure another's suffering are nothing short of ignorant. Or maybe simply having a very limited ideal.

You try to live, but there is a constant sense of someone watching you.

Enough, already...

"If you believe in peace, act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting lovingly; if you believe every which way, then act every which way, that's perfectly valid— but don't go out trying to sell your beliefs to the system. You end up contradicting what you profess to believe in, and you set a bum example. If you want to change the world, change yourself."
--Tom Robbins, "Still Life With Woodpecker"

(26 Silent Undulations | Stand Where I Stand)

Poetry, the metaphysical [29 Nov 2004|04:52pm]
[ mood | curious ]

Since I've been actually living as opposed to just plain functioning, I no longer have that spike in my side, that never ending spin of inspiration and creativity that used to feed me. Perhaps I have forgotten how to remember that feeling.

I miss my words terribly. My poetry. My "skirting around" to end in the same place.

Poetry is a way of doing it without actually doing it.
It's a way of acting it out while no one's looking, but they see it anyhow, which is what we call a metaphor.
It's a way of making the dream come real to the dreamer while she's pretending she's asleep.

Or maybe it's just a better way of failing.
It's a book whose meaning lies in translations.
It's a lover that turns away and doesn't look back.
It's a blues song that never leaves the dominant chord.
It's a G-d who is a being you can never connect with just like a finish line that keeps getting farther away as you arrive...and we go back and forth like this for what seems like forever, until it seems no one is even listening anymore.

I ask myself why my words or lack thereof mean so much. Like something bigger and better is holding them ransom for a price I'd spent a lifetime already paying. All for my poetry. This isn't absolution, either.

And it's like an insurance policy that insures itself against itself.
It's a way of losing it, but coming down easy.
A way of winning that doesn't offend the loser.
It's a way of dying but continuing to talk afterwards [beforehand], I think.
It's a way of fading in, while you're fading out and a way of catching your own voice on tape.

It's a deeper sort of pun, I think. A pun that puns on itself.
A joke that goes on and on and on and on....

Stealing your own voice from yourself and hiding it away.
It's sabotage and success all in one blender. This is the sanest insanity I know.

I'm beating the devil at his own game now.

These 1,000 oceans [11 Sep 2004|10:45pm]
[ mood | Knowing more ]

Fall; an irony of a name for a season...

(67 Silent Undulations | Stand Where I Stand)

Termination Tangles Me in the Web of Insanity [15 Jan 2004|10:41am]
[ mood | Still beyond crushed ]

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. I know what I need. I need more hellos."

Trying to Rise....trying. trying. trying. [16 Sep 2003|12:48pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

"I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons- And maybe we'll never know most of them, but even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things- and we can try to feel ok about them."

~the perks of being a wallflower~

That just about sums it up for me.

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